I always wondered
an someone learns knock knock jokes
they doesnt know what knock knock means
they thinks thats what you say when you want to open doors
they doesnt know that its a sound so imagine
the small philpino lady, who goes around selling fake DVDs
standing outside your house
In strong asian accent
"KNOCK KNOCK
KNOCK KNOCK
HELLO??!
ANYONE HOME!?
KNOCK KNOCK"

You shout out
a little confused
"Whos there?"
"Ehh, Ms.Wu!" She responds

"Wu Who?"
Then you are starting to get angry
"Wait, wait a second" you mutter
"Alright you little punk" cause now your thinking this is some kinda prank
so your like
"Get out of my lawn!!'
"Yes, yes sir, I have the show mulan!"

-----

And you know the indian Bus drivers? who always stare into your car
as if there is a magical land of gold and candy on the inside and if you stare hard enough
the force field might go down well heres what i do to stop this, cause it really pisses me off,
when they are staring like Nose pressed against the window.
I turn around and put on these glasses
and these arent ordinary glasses when you press the side
they light up and music starts playing
soo
I bend down and put on the glasses
i stare at him and 5 seconds later
you hear
"I WANDAH IF YOU KNOW, HOW DEY LIVE IN TOKYO"
and lights are flashing everywhere
then
i take them off
and the guy
in the bus
is like turning to his passengers
"Oh my goodness. This small boy, he is so invasive! He has no sense of respect
he opens his window
and is like
"You der, white boy! My people just want to enjoy your female passengers! Please do not disrupt us or we will call the police!"
-------
And then there is always, what I like to call. The Ibn Battuta Elephant incident.
You see, in dubai there is this mall, Ibn Battuta
and in the india court
there is an elephant clock
that goes off about every hour,
and the trunk goes up and down.
people are gathering all around
staring
glancing at their watches but not because of the elephant, like some might think, you see I know the truth! Its because every hour, you see some photographer with a tripod set up
and you see all the Indian men whispering to each other
'Oh, my god. that camera has three legs!"
and there is always the guy who is never impressed
Oh, three legs? big deal! Mine has a small wheel at the back! and plus, when you are done, you toss it in bin!"
then there is the handiman guy
who sees the tri pod
and cant afford his own
so he Makes one
you see him walk up the next day looking all proud
opens his over sized fanny pack
pull out three rulers, and some tape
then he tries to look professional
so he pulls out a paper
with instructions on it
but its really the instructions for his microwave
and hes holding them vertically, reading it, head tilted sideways
"Hmmm
if i sent it too twenty
my pictures will be golden brown
and if i set it to 80
i will have some pasta"
He puts the paper down and looks at his 'tripod', which is falling apart
"Now, where the hell is the start button!
Where are all the numbers?!"
He says while fumbling around with his disposable camera
"I am getting hungry! I want my pasta!"
He storms out and comes back the next day with a calculator

"Now, I am , Prepared!"




Thank you!

I hope you enjoyed my views on Dubai!